No Testosterone, No Glory: Women & Self-Promotion
Welcome to 2021. These days, women have rights that would make their grandmothers green with envy… and, hopefully, their granddaughters green with nausea. Frankly, it’s still a pretty mixed bag. From Malala to MeToo, we can’t underestimate the seismic changes we’ve created.
At the same time, we’ve got to face the shitshow kerfuffle head on. In honour of women’s day, let’s take a quick and oh-so-dark dive into the reality of inequality.
Are We Really In A Postfeminism World?
You’ve probably heard that sickening little fact that men get an extra 20 percent on every dollar while women do more than double the unpaid labour. While it’s getting better, it’s a strange and slow ride. If you were born in 1980, you’ve seen more than a dozen countries grant women the right to vote --- and we’re not just talking about distant developing countries.
While you were singing along to Papa Don't Preach, women in Liechtenstein had just gained the right to vote. As you rocked those Kurt Cobain-inspired flannels, women in areas of Switzerland were voting for the first time. If you feel like your generation is post-feminism, it’s time to take a closer look.
Women still seem to be a day late and a dollar short wherever they go. Unequal policies are screwing us all, including the guy waiting for his wife to bring him a sandwich. Working at a company where you get a bigger paycheque than the woman next to you? Your company is more likely to fail. Got a male leader in your country? You’re probably going to get hit harder by COVID.
Bottom line: Success is not finite. Quit the BS, play fair, and we can add $28 trillion to global annual growth in ten years by getting out of the way so women can get the job done.
But We Already Burned Our Bras
If you are ready to look past a whole lot of madness in the world around us, you might feel like it’s all done and dusted. There are girl power anthems on every Spotify playlist and, as every tabloid journalist knows, we live in a politically correct world gone mad. These days a woman can be a scientist by day and a busty superhero by night. The feminists of yesteryear got the job done, right?
So, why do only ten out of 195 countries in the world have a female Head of State (hey, America, come join the UK, Ireland, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and the many other non-Anglo countries who have elected a female leader at least once).
Things are hardly better in the private sector where nearly 80% of all executives are male. What is the deal here? Is it just a matter of women not wanting money or not being interested in telling men what to do? (HAHAHA)
The Self-Promotion Gap
There is one crucial factor in getting hired, being promoted, and taking home more cash. By and large, women are rubbish at self-promotion. The system created and largely dominated by men rewards something they are naturally good at: talking a good game.
Men are forever on their way back from a fishing trip where the fish they caught was too big to even fit in the car. They’re always bigger, faster, and stronger than the next guy. And companies love it. Let’s be honest, if you were the boss and one employee says he’s the best worker you’ve got while the other says she’s not up to par, who do you promote?
According to Harvard research, even after performing the exact same task in the exact same way, men will rate their performance as 33% better on average, that's 33% better if you didn’t see that the first time. Hell, even overweight ageing men tend to rate themselves as more attractive than objectively gorgeous women.
Are Women Lacking Confidence?
Do we need to print another batch of witty female-empowerment t-shirts? Ask Beyonce to write a new anthem? Some psychologists have questioned if all of this was a question of insecure women and overconfident men. They tested this theory by actually scoring performance and sharing the results. Even after knowing exactly how they performed, women rated their work as lower quality than men did.
Why So Modest?
Reading about these studies, one description stood out to me. Women consistently embraced a “well-liked but underappreciated” role.
They aimed for what researchers called ‘intentional invisibility’. They avoided conflict where they could and tried to soften every blow. They got the job done then just quietly walked away with a smile.
Keep It Down, Lady
Sure, we all know women who nobody on this planet would describe as demure but there is one common factor that does often apply. On average, women don’t jump headfirst into risky situations just for the thrill of it. Ask any car insurance company. Women are far more risk-averse across the board.
What is the risk of blowing your own horn? Well, if you have a vagina or identify as a woman, a few factors are at play. As much as you might want to be known for your hard work, being described as pushy or arrogant has done few of us any favours.
How To Self-Promote
If the idea of self-promotion doesn’t sit well with you, focus on making sure people see your work. Being visible and shouting from the rooftops are two totally different things. Think about how you can impact other people. Know that your performance doesn't speak for itself if it goes unseen. Take on new projects. Find specific examples of your success so you can say you increased sales by 15% rather than just saying your God’s greatest gift to the office.
And, fuck the soft language! Stop apologising before you say what you think. Don't say “I kinda think” when you know it for a fact. Be positive but not self-undermining. Self-promote like you’ve got 20 cents of every dollar riding on it.
